Best post yet. I just turned 26 and the biggest skill I’ve learned since college is learning how to be alone.
Most people have no idea how to be alone. Some of most closest friends have to do every aspect of their lives with people. Photography has honestly helped enhance that ability a lot since it allows you to be observant. My family is members at LACC, and When I was in high school I often used to go out and play twilight golf alone carrying the bag of course when the course was empty.
Living in NYC now, I have eaten alone too many times to count. Nothing beats a good solo bar seat. Reservations may be full for groups 24/7 but a reassuring seat at the bar will always be there.
I find myself in a similar rhythm—sometimes having coffee with loved ones, other times sitting alone with a warm cup and a few saved articles to read. Both moments matter, but there’s something uniquely grounding about being alone and fully present. Thanks for putting words to something so many of us feel but rarely express.
Eating alone is one of the best practices out there for being more comfortable alone in my experience (which includes not looking at your phone the majority of the time). Especially when traveling somewhere where nobody knows you anyway.
One funny thing about it is that you can visit almost any restaurant, even popular ones that seems full when you go there, they always seem to have, or make, room for one person somewhere. Then when sitting there, maybe at a small table outside by the sidewalk doing people watching, just reflecting, listening and taking in the atmosphere is where you find your place. Or just sitting in the bar is quite nice as well, staff usually talk to you and often give you extra treatment in my experience when you dine alone. People are curious about you.
And as my friend told me, one got to remember, you're not alone anyways, there is lots of people in the restaurant, sharing the same atmosphere and experience. Even if you're alone you are not lonely.
For anyone who gets a little worried about what others may think when they're eating alone: I've personally never looked at anyone and wondered why they're eating alone.
immaculately written! Thank you! When I first moved to Osaka from rural Germany I had the same feeling as described above. Everyday was an adventure and somehow liberating to know no one. Now years later, through your post, I realised what I once had and probably will never have again. Unless I'd go somewhere unknown.
PS. The picture of Anthony Bourdain fits perfectly
In a world where convenience is prioritised over connection, perhaps learning to make joy and love out of the disconnection and taking the power back on that front is the way in which we survive.
I love doing this on my layovers. Something about watching people going through their everyday routine and life whether youre there or not.
But in that moment you are, inserted into all of their lives for that one night. Seeing co-workers catch an after work drink. Or families sitting down for a lengthy meal. I love seeing it all.
I started going out to breakfast alone when I was in grad school. And forty-something years later I’m still my favorite company at breakfast, although I do like it when Banksy, my Poodle, joins me.
Love this! I’m Harrison, an ex fine dining line cook. My stack "The Secret Ingredient" adapts hit restaurant recipes (mostly NYC and L.A.) for easy home cooking.
Best post yet. I just turned 26 and the biggest skill I’ve learned since college is learning how to be alone.
Most people have no idea how to be alone. Some of most closest friends have to do every aspect of their lives with people. Photography has honestly helped enhance that ability a lot since it allows you to be observant. My family is members at LACC, and When I was in high school I often used to go out and play twilight golf alone carrying the bag of course when the course was empty.
Living in NYC now, I have eaten alone too many times to count. Nothing beats a good solo bar seat. Reservations may be full for groups 24/7 but a reassuring seat at the bar will always be there.
totally agree. playing 9 holes at twilight is on of my favorite solo activities.
Happy birthday @Connor!
I find myself in a similar rhythm—sometimes having coffee with loved ones, other times sitting alone with a warm cup and a few saved articles to read. Both moments matter, but there’s something uniquely grounding about being alone and fully present. Thanks for putting words to something so many of us feel but rarely express.
thank you! couldn't agree more.
Let's connect Riley. I also travelled to many places. Would love sometimes to mix the perspectives😎
Eating alone is one of the best practices out there for being more comfortable alone in my experience (which includes not looking at your phone the majority of the time). Especially when traveling somewhere where nobody knows you anyway.
One funny thing about it is that you can visit almost any restaurant, even popular ones that seems full when you go there, they always seem to have, or make, room for one person somewhere. Then when sitting there, maybe at a small table outside by the sidewalk doing people watching, just reflecting, listening and taking in the atmosphere is where you find your place. Or just sitting in the bar is quite nice as well, staff usually talk to you and often give you extra treatment in my experience when you dine alone. People are curious about you.
And as my friend told me, one got to remember, you're not alone anyways, there is lots of people in the restaurant, sharing the same atmosphere and experience. Even if you're alone you are not lonely.
I've always felt self-conscious about eating alone... but now I want to do it more. Beautifully said.
I eat alone quite a bit and need to get off my phone, be more mindful and try some of your methods.
Let me know how it goes
For anyone who gets a little worried about what others may think when they're eating alone: I've personally never looked at anyone and wondered why they're eating alone.
Just got back from a week solo in Tokyo so this hits! Well said!
Sounds incredible
Know this all to well, and find such joy and peace when it does happen. Learning to be present is such a gift.
Hey Riley, I’m a paying subscriber and love your work!
Would really appreciate access to the chat if possible — would be great to join the convo.
Thanks a lot!
- Christopher
Hey Christopher. I have the chat feature available for paying subscribers so you should be able to access! looking forward to chatting.
immaculately written! Thank you! When I first moved to Osaka from rural Germany I had the same feeling as described above. Everyday was an adventure and somehow liberating to know no one. Now years later, through your post, I realised what I once had and probably will never have again. Unless I'd go somewhere unknown.
PS. The picture of Anthony Bourdain fits perfectly
you will have it again, you just need to prioritize the un-comfortability ! big or small.
Great stuff, Riley! I’ve been really looking forward to your posts here on your new platform 👍🙏💯
thanks!
In a world where convenience is prioritised over connection, perhaps learning to make joy and love out of the disconnection and taking the power back on that front is the way in which we survive.
I think its one of the most important things for our survival!
I love doing this on my layovers. Something about watching people going through their everyday routine and life whether youre there or not.
But in that moment you are, inserted into all of their lives for that one night. Seeing co-workers catch an after work drink. Or families sitting down for a lengthy meal. I love seeing it all.
layovers are a great way to do this as well. a lot of people in the same boat.
I resonate with this so much! Thanks for sharing your thoughts ☺️
thank you!
I started going out to breakfast alone when I was in grad school. And forty-something years later I’m still my favorite company at breakfast, although I do like it when Banksy, my Poodle, joins me.
dogs dont count. they are always invited to any meal. at least for me :)
Love this! I’m Harrison, an ex fine dining line cook. My stack "The Secret Ingredient" adapts hit restaurant recipes (mostly NYC and L.A.) for easy home cooking.
check us out:
https://thesecretingredient.substack.com